Lord, I don’t understand but I trust You!!!
In August 2015, I was diagnosed with cancer cells in my womb and I was told I had polycystic ovaries. I also had to see an Endocrinologist because I was lactating. The level of Prolactin in my body was high and it was telling my brain that I’m breastfeeding so my period stopped coming. I was told I had to do surgery to remove the cancer cells to prevent more issues. I did the surgery in September and when I went for a follow-up in November, the doctor said I healed well but I’ll need a lot of medication for 3-4 years to be able to conceive and even with that, I had only a 50 per cent chance.
I laughed! I laughed because I had decided that I am the only one who gets to speak life or death to my body and because I believe what I say, it always comes to pass. So laughing was my therapy because I refused to believe the Doctor’s report.
On Feb 4th, 2016 I went for @lffsortingout and I got healed completely. I had stopped lactating and It happened in the blink of an eye. Throughout the 3 days period of Sorting out, we were praying and I kept speaking life into My body, My Husband, My children, My Gifts, etc. At some point, the Pastor said anyone that has a physical issue should go and check in the bathrooms to find out if they had been healed. I went to the bathroom to check if milk was still coming out of my breasts and I saw that there was still milk coming out, so I went back into the hall slightly disappointed but still filled with hope.
As I sat in the hall, I remember listening to other people’s testimonies regarding their healing and that increased my faith, I believed and told God that I want to come back here and give the testimony of my healing. I ran back to the toilet and to my amazement, IT HAD DRIED COMPLETELY. In addition to my healing, I also received the gift of speaking in tongues, which has been amazing for my prayer life because I absolutely love confusing the devil. Through Sorting Out, I was freed from a million strongholds and fears and I could announce that I AM Sorted. Yayyy!!!
April 2016 we found out we were pregnant, which was a miracle considering what doctors had told me about my chances. I was extremely thankful and filled with praises because I knew this was all by God’s power. I was very excited and was looking forward to having our baby as being a Mother has been a dream since forever.
In July we went for an event in Lagos, it was great to celebrate with our friends but in the midst of that, I started feeling pain but it wasn’t extreme so I just chilled and tried not to worry about it. On our way back to Abuja, I was in a lot of pain throughout the flight and went to the hospital as soon as we landed in Abuja. At this point, I was bleeding and the doctor said I had to lay down and wait for them to carry out tests and know what the situation was. After 5 hours of the most the difficult wait, he came with the worst news we were hoping against. He told us we were going to lose the baby as I was in labor and the baby was too young to survive if born.
I was really hurt and heartbroken so I did what I knew was my only option, which was to turn to God. I asked God for help, I asked him to heal me physically and emotionally because I didn’t want to go through pain. All I remember was sleeping off and when I woke up, I had a strong urge to pee. As I peed in the bathroom,, I saw my son come out of me and I called my husband who was in the room and he then called the doctor. All this time my son was still connected to me and I was asked not to look down as we had to wait for the placenta to come out.. The only thing I remember was “Yaweh” playing in the background as we had been playing worship music during the entire time I was waiting. After the placenta and my baby came out, the doctor wrapped them up and told my husband to go and bury the baby which was surreal. It was not supposed to happen this way. We had a moment of tears, but in even that moment, we chose to remain thankful and have a heart of worship.
On July 10th, 2016, Our Son went to heaven. This was 5 days to our wedding ceremony, but instead of tears we had smiles on our faces. This can only be to the Glory of God because the smile on our faces at the event were so priceless and effortless, that no one could ever believe or imagine we had just had the painful experience of losing our little one.
On November 11th, 2016 we conceived again and this time we said we’ll be more careful and just take it easy. I went to the hospital and the doctor advised to get a cervical cerclage to prevent any complications or early labour like the previous experience. For someone who is always active and energetic, I took it easy as I stayed on bed rest because nothing was going to get in the way of me birthing a healthy baby..
On May 8th, 2017 I woke up in a lot of pain, my joints felt like they were on fire and it was excruciating. We rushed to the hospital, praying and hoping that nothing would happen to our baby. The Doctor checked me and gave the bad news: He could see the membrane, which was NOT a good sign. It was advised that we had to do surgery to put the cerclage back but we had to switch hospitals because most hospitals didn’t have enough incubators. By the time we got to the final hospital, I went into the theater and all I remember was seeing Jesus holding my hand and telling me that all will be well and greater things are coming. I was confused, I told him the truth: “Lord, I don’t understand but I completely trust you”. By the time the surgery was over my hubby and I went back to our room and I was just laying down,completely numb. How could this be happening to us again? I did everything right this time, so I was back here again?.
10 mins later I felt a sharp pain and I knew the baby was going to come out, in 5 mins I pushed her out and she kicked my thigh. I spoke to her telling her she would be fine and all will be well and I told her it was lovely meeting her. She went to the NICU and 2 hours later, they gave us the news we were dreading: Our Daughter went to heaven.
This time was very different from the first time. This time around, I felt PEACE like no other, it was calmer than the first loss but something in me got very upset. I felt the devil was trying to test me especially because of how much I boast of God’s Grace and mercy and how it has carried me. I know the devil was jealous because God never stops playing favorites with my husband and I. I learnt that when God touches your heart, He holds you and carries you, no matter the situation, loss, sickness, blessing, death…etc His word is true when he says: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Fastforward to August 2017, we conceived again. Yayyyy!!! AND this time the pregnancy was here to stay. I was determined to FIGHT for what was mine. This baby belonged to my husband and I and nothing was going to stop us from celebrating.. I was told I had to to be on bed rest for 7 months but at this point, I would have stayed in bed rest for a year if that is what it took. I barely left my room except on the days when I had to go and get my injections. I had to take progesterone injections to prevent a repeat of the previous losses. So, betweem the 25th of September to the 20th of December 2018, I took injections twice a week and then once a week from then till the 27th of April 2019. This was a total of 37 injections, this experience completely humbled me; I was in pain for 3 days after every shot and couldn’t lay down on the side of my bum that was injected. I could only have a proper bath once a week because I wasn’t allowed to stand for a long period of time.
Despite these discomforts, the period of bed rest introduced me to a side of myself I had never met. I saw a side of Kikelomo that I had never really met before. Gosh, she’s gorgeous and I love her so much. She is strong, she is love, she is the apple of God’s (husband’s) eyes, she is kind, she is Bold, She is the Church, She is Peace. I learnt that Who you are is a manifestation of what you have experienced, people you have touched and how you have lived.
On May 1st, 2018 T’araoluwa Idunnu Abebi Rivka Tabitha Ajala was born. It was her birth in itself is what I see as a supernatural birth because I have learnt that having a healthy child is in itself a miracle and supernatural . It’s so amazing because I Chose To Smile and trust God regardless of what I been through. Philippians 4:4 says “ Rejoice in the Lord, Always. Again I say, Rejoice!!” and I chose to do just that.
I am sharing this testimony of God’s Goodness, Because He saw me, loved me, called me spectacular and Picked me. Now I am Filled with Love, He Picked a lump of clay and gave me breath, isn’t that something?!
And more importantly I want to tell whoever reads this; to believe in the power of Love. LOVE is real and it’s only through the love of Christ, shall we have Life in abundance and See the Glory of Our God.
I speak Life in all areas of your life. To everyone reading this, God is GOING to MAKE the impossible, POSSIBLE.
Let’s all have an attitude of Expectation and trust in God, always…especially when you don’t understand