Category Archives: Tito’s Thoughts

No Ordinary Love

I have a friend who was never keen on having children, she was not the mummy type and I never heard her express any interest in having a child. One day she found out she was pregnant and decided to keep the child because she didn’t have a reason not to. She was at the right age with a thriving career and she thought: “I might not get another opportunity like this and I don’t want to regret it in future”. So she decided to have the baby. She had the most gorgeous baby and I saw her change completely. She immediately became this loving, protective mother and to be honest a major Momzilla which was a shock to me considering her history. One day God was talking to me and he reminded me of this lady and her baby and he said something that flawed me.

 

He said “look at how much this lady loves a baby she didn’t even know she wanted”. I want you, I planned for you, I planned everything about you. As he mentioned in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” “So can you imagine how much I love you? If a woman who didn’t plan to have a child can love her child so much, how much more do you think I love you? That made me so overwhelmed because I realised how cherished and loved I am by my father.

 

God said to me: “Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands” (Isaiah 49:15) And then He also reminded me that: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”(Jeremiah 1:5).

Do know you know amazing it is to be inscribed on the palms of God’s hands? Take a look at your hands, you see those lines, they are a part of you, you can’t ignore them. That is how we are with God.

 

I see this woman organize her entire life, finances and time around this child making sure her child has EVERYTHING she needs. And it made me remember what Christ said; that if we who are with sin can love our children and give good gifts to them, how much more can our father in heaven with unlimited resources and unlimited love care for us his children who ask him? (Matthew 7:11 NLT).

 

The love God has for us is no ordinary love (cue in; Sade’s ‘No Ordinary love), it is a love that transcends time and our imagination. God loves us with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3). Even if your parents have hurt you or disappointed you, God would never leave you. He is the epitome of love. For he so loved the world that he sent his only son to die for us (John 3:16). If God did not spare his own son for our sake, how much more would he give us everything that we ask for? (Romans 8:32). And beyond that he gave us a new inheritance in Christ Jesus that gives us the ability to do the same incredible things Jesus Christ did. The bible is a true account of the power of God and Christ said that greater things than he would we do. The issue is that we seem to forget who we are and who our Father is. We limit God’s love for us and that is why Paul in Ephesians 3:18-19 said:

 

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

 

My friend would not hesitate to hurt someone if she thinks they are trying to hurt her child. She is incredibly protective and would do ANYTHING for her child. God then told me that: “how far do you think I will go to protect you from harm? If this lady can be so protective, I will not hesitate to use all the resources of heaven to protect you. I was so focused on protecting Moses that I kept him in the home of those who could have hurt him for 40 years, Daniel was in the Lion’s den and came out unscathed. I have given angels charge over you in case you dash your foot against a stone. These are all the things I have given you as a father but the problem is that you don’t believe it and you let the Liar steal from you all that I have legitimately given you as my heir. I can only do as much as you let me and trust me to do.”

 

As I read Matthew 7:11 again I noticed that Christ said the Father in heaven can give us from his unlimited resources only if we ask. In this case, asking is not “begging”. It is simply asking. Joshua only needs to say “Food” and I am already giving him food. And this is me o. So imagine the GOD OF ALL CREATION being your father? Our part is to trust him as innocently as my friend’s daughter trusts her mum.

 

The way my friend’s baby looks at her is amazing. There is this complete trust and knowledge that even if everyone else in the room was unreliable, she knows her mummy is different. When she is crying, she immediately looks to her mummy for comfort and her mum immediately picks her up. Even as a baby she already has that trust and knowledge in her mother and that is what we need as well. Knowing who is the one who cares about us the most. The one who has our best interest at heart. The one that would do ANYTHING for us if we just ask. He is also the one who created us in his image and we are his heirs so it means everything he created belongs to us. I REPEAT: If GOD did not spare his only son for us, WHAT ELSE won’t he give to us?

 

Our part is to trust and KNOW that our Father is willing and able to do above and beyond what we can ever hope for or imagine.

 

Positive Vibes Only

Positive Vibes Only

It has been too long since I put up a post. I decided to change the site a bit and that took longer than expected. I started working on other “projects” during the process and I just occasionally shared on Instagram. One of the strongest ways God has been speaking to me is through my son; Joshua and I got the concept of “Lessons from Joshua”. I will share the things God teaches me about my relationship with him and my life as a Christian as I watch my son grow and I hope someone finds light and hope through my words.

Every time I look at Joshua, I am in awe. There are things he does that just floor me. He is so incredibly smart and I just KNOW FOR A FACT that this is not something I could have taught him. This is not something that I did but all God. And one day I was looking through an old journal and I saw some of the declarations I had written about him. I had written that he would have the wisdom of God from the womb. I also wrote that he would be a joyful, happy baby with a beautiful smile amongst other things. I used to declare these things every day over and over and over again and now to see them actually in my son’s life is just amazing. As I  have continued to make these declarations, his nanny has taken it on. The other day, I heard her telling him; “you are so wise, you are going to be president” and all kinds of awesome stuff. I can’t even say anything that isn’t positive because his father won’t have it. I once called him weird because he was doing something weird and his father corrected me. So we are only allowed to declare positively over our child. And now we also do that over every area of our lives because we are beginning to really know the power of our words.

The bible says “You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways (Job 22:28) Do you know why? Because Jesus Christ is in us (Romans 8:10-20). God is in us, so we have to understand that our words carry power. They are no longer idle words. Every word you speak has life!

The word of God is powerful and sharper than any two edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Can you just imagine how powerful that is? I had a revelation once that the word of God is more than scripture. The bible promises are incredible and definitely carry power as we confess them. But The word of God is Jesus Christ. The word was with God and the word became man. Every time God spoke the word, he was speaking Christ and it is through Christ that the world was created.

“1 In the beginning [before all time] was the Word ([a]Christ), and the Word was with God, and [b]the Word was God Himself. He was [continually existing] in the beginning [co-eternally] with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him not even one thing was made that has come into being. In Him was life [and the power to bestow life], and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines on in the [c]darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it [and is unreceptive to it].”

And now the point is that Jesus Christ is in us as well (Romans 8:10-20). That same word is dwelling in us. That word that is alive is in us and accomplishing great things through us. So when we speak we don’t speak as mere humans, we speak with the understanding that the word of God is in us, making sure that our declarations come to pass. When you have that understanding, you are more careful of the negative words you say over the situations in your life. You are careful about what you say to your kids, what you say about your job, what you say about your marriage, what you say about others because they become more than just words.

What have you killed with your words? What do you need to give life to with your words? What do you need to resuscitate with your words? Start to speak the word to it NOW

For the longest time I used to say that only bad things happen to me. I had this mentality that the odds were always against me and I would repeat it over and over again. This actually became my reality. It seemed like everything that was not normally supposed to happen seemed to be happening to me. As God continues to teach me, he is showing me that I have the power to decree a thing and it would be established. He has also shown me that I should never speak an idle word. Of course sometimes you just want to express what you see and you don’t think about what you are saying and that happens to me too. But now I tell myself I have the mind of Christ so even my utterances are being controlled by the Spirit of God that is within me. I am no longer subject to my human limitations. My words carry power and it is up to me to use it.

The bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue. What have you killed with your words? What do you need to give life to with your words? What do you need to resuscitate with your words? Start to speak the word to it NOW and continue to, even when it looks like nothing is changing. Speak positivity to your life, your job, your marriage,your children, the works of your hands, your relationships.

SPEAK TO IT!

starting-over

Starting Over

I wrote this about a month ago. I realised I needed a break to refresh spiritually and mentally. Sometimes you have to step back to get some clarity.  I am sorry for the silence but I do feel refreshed after Spending time in prayer and fellowship and I really needed it.  If you are feeling like you are in a rut, maybe its time to press reset. Take a break from social media, spend time you’ll normally use on Instagram with God and his word. Reprioritise what matters. You’ll be amazed. It’s a new month, its the perfect time to start over.

In 2015, I had an experience that changed my life forever. After 42 weeks being pregnant, I gave birth to my daughter Apphiah who died within a few hours in this world. The experience was devastating but through it I became free to express to the world my love for the God who pulled me through. I became a golden girl, everyone wanted to interview me, talk to me, hear me speak and minister. I was soaring and on fire for JESUS CHRIST.

Then in 2016, I gave birth to a completely healthy and perfect baby and I was so happy. I put in all my energy to this special baby. I spent all my waking and sleeping hours with this baby on my mind, Before I knew it, I was too tired to pray, too tired to study the bible, too tired to go to church, too tired to fellowship with others. It was such a gradual decline, I didn’t realise how bad until I had a new challenge and I didn’t even know how to pray. I got too distracted.

How often has that happened to you? One minute your life is filled with Christ and then you get an amazing blessing and Christ stops being your focus. You sacrifice a relationship with the giver of the gift to focus on the gift itself and before you know it, you end up in an abyss. You feel lost, depressed, unhappy and like a failure. These were my emotions anyway. As my relationship with God fizzled out, I got sooo lost, I didn’t know who I was anymore or whose I was. I felt like a zombie.

The reason why your life might seem empty at the moment is because you have let the gift distract you from the giver of the gift. We are so focused on waiting for God to give us that ONE THING that we don’t take time to pay attention to God himself. Our relationship is so surface, we are just in it for what we can get, we pretend to be interested in the giver of the gift but truth is that as soon as we get what we are looking for, we might or might not say thank you and that’s the end of the relationship. Well, until we need something else. And we start the dance all over again.

The irony is that instead of going through this same process over and over again, we can learn as said in psalm 34:10 that those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. Imagine if we really chose to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”, won’t it be amazing to see that “all other things will be added unto us?” Matthew 6;33

What is sooo important that it has made us to lose focus on what is most important? For me, it was my son. I was trying to be the perfect mum. I needed to make sure I was doing a good job of taking care of this beautiful gift from God but I was sooooo tired and empty.  Instead of feeling like a super hero mum, I started to feel like a real failure. I started to wonder why I felt like I was losing when I was supposed to be celebrating my biggest win.  Then one day I realised it was because I had lost sight of what matters most which is living your life to please God. Making sure God was number 1. Nothing else is more important, not even my precious baby that I prayed for.

So I had to start over. I had to reconnect. I had to go back to basics. Making God number one no matter what. I had to do whatever was necessary from sleep training my baby to deleting Instagram. I got aggressive. I found the perfect online prayer group. Waking up to pray at 4am in the morning was a choice I made. Bible study? Yes please. WHATEVER IT TOOK.

I wasn’t necessarily asking for anything but to rebuild a relationship I desperately missed. I missed having clear direction. I missed knowing which decisions to take on the little things and the big things. I missed having the peace that comes with being in sync with God. I missed my joy because I started to feel so miserable. SO MUCH I MISSED and I need to take desperate measures to get it back.  Ironically, I started to REALLY enjoy being a mum and a wife. I started to enjoy the gift a lot more when I made the giver of the gift number 1. It gave me perspective and I realised just how blessed I am.

As with every relationship, it is a process. But this is one process I am loving

HAPPY-BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

IT IS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!! I am soooo Happy!!! This birthday feels so different. I have such peace in my spirit. I just know I am entering a new season and even though I don’t know the when or why or how, I KNOW THE GOD I HAVE. I am grateful to God for being too good to me. I was just thinking about my life and I wrote a little letter to God. I am sharing it with you too. I am just in awe of how far God has brought me. I pray you enjoy God’s peace. I pray you know how much he loves you. I pray you will know him on a new level. I pray you will always find your joy in him. I pray he comforts you no matter what you are going through. I pray you know how much he loved you that he sent his only son to die for you. I pray you accept the love of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Do something kind today. Celebrate my birthday with me by being SUPER KIND TO SOMEONE TODAY!!! And thank you for even reading my posts, for emailing with your kind words. You have NO IDEA how God uses you to bless me and show me a little bit of who I am. THANK YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Hello Dad,

It’s me. Your daughter. It’s my birthday today!!! YAYYYY!!! Of course you knew that, because you know EVERYTHING about me. You chose the day I came into this world, you created me in the secret place of my mother’s womb. You watched over me and made sure I was perfectly formed and at the right time, on this day, thirty one years ago, you brought me out to this place, this temporary home, to fulfil the purpose I was created for.

Dad, yesterday I was a bit sad. I let the liar get in my head. He told me I wasn’t good enough. He told me my life was on hold. He told me I won’t amount to much. He told me to be afraid about my future. He told me I have reached my peak. He said so many lies dad and for a split second I started to believe him. But because you are my Dad, you were also watching and you started to speak to me.

You told me: I haven’t even started. You told me I am just about to begin. You told me I have been under construction. You told me that the purpose you have called me for is greater than I can imagine. You told me that I carry a light and through me you will shine your light. You told me that you have called me to restore others and to give them comfort. You told me I am entering a new season. And as you spoke my heart became so glad. I started to see you in everything.

I saw you in my amazing husband, through whom you spoke to me. The one that is so excited for the future you have promised me. The one that opened my eyes to how much you have given me. The one that shows me that you are biased about me. The one who reminded me of your promises, even when I had forgotten. I saw you in my life. I saw you in the fact that I have great health. I saw you in the fact that I have more than I need despite choosing to stay at home to raise a son. I saw you in my son. I look at him and I am in awe of how perfectly you blessed me with him. I couldn’t have imagined he’ll be this awesome even if I tried. I saw how you have supplied all that we need to take care of him. I saw how you have protected and shielded me on numerous occasions. I saw you in the family I have and the friends I have. I saw you in the seemingly perfect coincidences that are creating the path which you have called me to walk. I saw you Lord and I see you Lord.

Today I wish I could say thank you a billion, zillion times. It still won’tbe enough. I never would have considered myself a worthy vessel but somehow you chose me. Me??? I am in awe of your grace Dad. I am in awe of your faithfulness. I am in awe of your mercy. I am in awe of your loving kindness. I am in awe of your unending love. I am in awe of you. My heart is filled with gratitude. You love me with a patience that outstands me. I know for a fact it is completely undeserved but yet you love me. My heart worships you. My soul magnifies you. My spirit yields to you. I AM IN AWE OF YOU. I AM IN AWE OF YOU. You are so perfect Dad. This girl is grateful to you. I wish I could express my gratitude in other ways. What would be adequate? NOTHING. You humble me Lord. I love you.

Thank you for another year. Thank you for calling me. Thank you for loving me. I am excited for where you are taking me. Teach me patience Dad. Help me to trust the process and enjoy the journey, I love you Dad. Thank you.

Happy birthday to me!

CHANGE YOUR FOCUS

I recently got great news that one of my friends is pregnant with her second baby. My joy knew no bounds; you would have thought I was the one carrying the child. I was soooo excited that I made my super cool friend uncomfortable. lol. Of course every pregnancy and every child is a blessing but this one was even more special because it was completely unexpected. Her first child was not even a year old before she got pregnant with the second. What many people didn’t know was that her first pregnancy was a battle and her baby was a miracle baby. How else can you explain it when my friend bled throughout the entire pregnancy and had giant fibroids so her baby’s head was wedged between those fibroids and she couldn’t move? But guess what? Our miracle baby SOMEHOW came out PERFECT. The odds of my friend even getting pregnant the first time were slim and when she called her doctor to say she was pregnant again, the doctor told her it was impossible. But what is impossible with man is OVER POSSIBLE with God and now my friend is in her 3rd trimester with her second baby. LOOK AT JESUS.

I asked my friend how she manages to stay positive during these pregnancies considering the odds against her and she told me: “I just stay positive, only have positive conversations, I don’t condone negativity”. It got me thinking about the word of God and how we are told: “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (Phil 4:8 nkjv)

It is a choice. The same way we MEDITATE on all the negative situations we face and we go over it again and again, is the same way we can CHOOSE to meditate on the positive and things that are praise worthy.

A lot of women call me and email me AND send me social media messages about their frustrations and how they have been trying to have children unsuccessfully and I always give the same advice: Change your focus, change your thinking. Instead of focusing on how miserable you are and how unfair it is and how God isn’t answering your prayers, choose to be positive instead.  I remember after having a miscarriage, my doctor told me I was not allowed to cry because that is what satan wanted. He instructed me to LAUGH instead and choose to be happy and I did just that: I had a full on praise party after I had spent a couple of days crying and wallowing. No one even KNEW I had a miscarriage and a month later I was pregnant again. One thing I have learnt is the power of our thinking. I believe my friend’s attitude played a huge role when she got pregnant again. She didn’t waste time worrying about the possibilities of having a second child, she just chose to be grateful for what she did have and God surprised her beyond her expectations.

My question for you today is this: “What is your mind focused on?”

I know it seems easier said than done but guess what? God won’t respond to a pity party but a praise party. Try this: When you see your period, instead of bursting into tears, burst into song and start praising God for your babies, for your husband, for your health, for a roof over your head, for great friends, for Christ who died for you. Turn a PITY PARTY INTO A PRAISE PARTY and see if God won’t surprise you. Don’t waste energy lingering on the disappointment, spend it on positivity. I know you really thought that job was THE job and you were over qualified for it but don’t waste energy questioning and questioning, use that time to think about how amazing you are and thank God for saving the perfect job for you.

The other day I was boiling water in a whistling kettle. I stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to whistle as indication that the water was hot enough. I waited. I waited. I waited. AND WAITED. NOTHING. It was like the water was taking 50 years to boil, so I decided I will do other things while I waited instead of just watching a kettle. Guess what happened? As soon as I picked up a broom to start sweeping, I heard the whistle.

It’s the same thing with us, when we take our eyes off our problems, no matter what they are and change our focus to something positive and praise worthy and change our thinking, We will begin to see those problems disappear and see the manifestation of our blessings.

Another key thing my friend told me was that she keeps her words positive. What are you saying during your times of frustration. Are you speaking as someone who is already defeated or a victor. Every time I am in a negative space and I am expressing it to my husband, he always cautions me to be careful what I say because to me it might be just me being honest but our words carry weight and the more we speak in negativity the harder it’ll be to see our blessings. My friend does NOT allow any negative news near her, she won’t hear it and she’ll let you know. So please instead of going on and on about how hard things are, focus on how great they also are and speak positively. As the bible says: “out of the abundance of your heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45)

Why don’t we try it this time and see what happens? Genuinely meditate on those things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, of good virtue and most importantly praise worthy. You are not allowed to complain about ANYTHING this week. Let us see what happens when we change our focus. By the way, it won’t be easy, distractions will come, you will have legitimate reasons to wallow in self pity and enter the negative, but through that, FIGHT TO REMAIN POSITIVE.

“You are not allowed to complain about ANYTHING this week”

“Friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse…Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” (Philippians 4:8 msg)

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