I loveeeee Testimonies and I love this one. I particularly love how specific she was with the job and position she wanted. The power of our declarations is amazing and we should never stop speaking what we want until we see it. Thanks so much ANNE for sharing this!!
Mighty thank you to GOD for your insightful and spirit filled book. Congratulations!
So remember I owed you a mail?
Recall we had one long chat in 2016? Where I was talking about things being on a stand still, how the prayer and wait for love was looking like there is no end to it?
Anyway, added to all that I had just walked away from a job. I do not think I told you this. It was my first opportunity after NYSC and I learned a whole lot, got exposed, failed a lot but got back up every second. I worked really hard. It was bitter sweet, toxic and demanding. During my first months with every feedback I got everyday, I went to work each morning telling myself “this is the day you get fired”.
Honestly I didn’t believe in myself. My friends and family felt I was doing well, but the affirmation from my work place never came. Anyway, I am used to no compliments. I guess I go after my goals hoping that I would be recognized for who I know I am – resilient, tenacious and very innovative/creative.
I learned the power of association and friendship while I worked there. I made friends I believe GOD sent to me. They would encourage and chastise me and there was never a moment I had to “call back later”. They would leave everything to help me. I remember complaining to one of them after 3 months at work because I really wanted to leave. He said, “Ah, your boss is highly intelligent. If you weren’t doing well she would have fired you by now. So hold on and learn. When it is time to leave even you would not be able to stay”.
So I stayed at the job for 3 years and 6 months. It was not easy to leave. I prayed earnestly and was so restless at work that I knew it was time to leave. A lot of things happened in between but it will all be too lengthy to write. My Dad thought I was crazy to leave my job (even though I had found another) and I knew deep in my heart that I would not last at the new place.
I knew it was time to leave that job because I was really exhausted and needed time off, but I needed a reason to leave. GOD saw my weakness and sent a job but I heard it in my heart that I wouldn’t be at my new job for long.
My Boss felt I was not being rational to want to work for a place I barely knew but she gave her blessings and reassured me that I could return if it didn’t turn out, as I wanted. So I left.
When I started at the new place, I didn’t feel challenged, it seemed I was a local champion and seriously I still felt the need to ‘rest’. I walked away after 3 months. I handed in my resignation letter and I did not bother to tell anyone about it.
I had no plan, or saved finances because I had slaved away at a job that did not pay good money but I was full of experience and dreams. I learned I would be paid gratuity from the first place and tried to lean on it but it didn’t come at the time and soon I got really broke.
I went for that retreat we talked about and mehn, My life has not been the same. It changed for good!! It was like a vacation with GOD. I didn’t want to leave the facility I lodged in but had to (Money was running out. Lol).
Well, I decided to publish a book. Where the money would come from, I had no idea but I worked on it anyways. In 3 months I collated all the stories I had in my laptop and was ready. Then I summoned courage to pursue my gratuity and like a dream it came just when I made up my mind to go ahead to publish. Now this decision seemed crazy, because this girl doesn’t have money, now she has some and wants to publish a book?
Phew, I must have been jazzed.
I did publish the book and recovered my costs but all the expenses I had incurred during my broke times swept it and soon I was nearing 0.
Anyway all through this time, I leeched on highflyers for mentorship, prayed, served at church, had time for family, read a lot (also was studying for an MBA) and I got a contract to consult for 3 months (although it was not steady). I met amazing people, started off a community Online that is growing, I went for free conferences and symposiums/workshops. My network grew, I got stipends from freelance jobs, a friend who is now family was so helpful and then funds came in from the proceeds of my book. I lived with my Parents and siblings so no headaches about rent and food.
Oh I had plenty of rest!!! The freedom was amazing, even without money! Lol. I had learned to leave my needs to GOD because HE always goes ahead of me.
I wasn’t applying for jobs because I didn’t feel ready at all, but in October 2017 I felt ready. I told GOD I enjoyed the period of rest and now needed a very good job that would give me peace.
Before all of these experiences, I always dreamed of 3 places to work and any time I passed the buildings, I would say in my heart or to anyone with me “I would work here someday”. I then went on to tell them the other two options and the exact position I wanted to occupy. People laughed at me and said such places were hard to get, taking into consideration the fact that their vacancies weren’t made public and even if you applied, you rarely got a response
I never took their words for anything. Never. You see I have never applied for work. I get offers but I turn them down. Back at school, I remember telling GOD with so much pain; “after all my hard work I didn’t get the grade I wanted! It means I don’t need this result. I would not look for work!”
So really it has never come into my mind that I would be in need of a job. I always keep myself ‘busy’ by doing something. (I also make clothes but deliberately didn’t do any during this period of ‘rest’. I really felt GOD telling me to chill).
So back to October, I told GOD that the consultancy would soon end (and was not stable anyway) and that it was time for a good stable job. In as much as I had it in me to be on my own, I had studied myself and saw gaps that needed active development to fill them. I needed more experience to build more capacity. And so I started applying for jobs. I almost got one but it did not work out and my first place of work offered me my job back but I didn’t take it.
One night I laid on my bed, crying, wondering if I cursed myself (by saying I wouldn’t look for work) because it seemed I was running in circles. I was upset at being broke and also not having a man in my life. I felt that at least one should work (lmao!), because in my mind, something has to take one’s time and if it isn’t a thriving career then perhaps building a family or relationship. I had none.
As I thought of my life, my phone beeped. It was a mail from my friend. It read “oya apply!”.
I opened the attachment and Lo and behold! It was a vacancy at one of the organisations I had always wanted to work with. And what was most shocking was that the job description and requirements seemed to describe ME! In fact, my friend said: “I read it and all I could think of was you. That is you they described. You can do the job”.
I checked the deadline and it had past. I called him and he said “open the form and read to the end it hasn’t lapsed”. I checked again and saw it was going to lapse in 2 weeks. Omo! I cleaned my eyes o!
I filled that form that night and kept it for 3 days. Why? To pray over the application, tell GOD about it (I really wanted to stop running ahead of HIM and pulling HIM along). Also, I wanted to re-read my application and giving some days’ interval always helps to address your mistakes. So on the 3rd day, a Monday morning I sent it.
Life continued, and the pangs of under achievement hit me again. It got so bad, that one afternoon I cried aloud and told GOD (paraphrased) “see I am tired o! Tired of praying. What have I done so bad that you are punishing me like this??? I am 30 with nothing! Nothing. As in, if anything happens I don’t even have savings. How did I get here? Give me a second chance. I am tired, I cannot pray, no words, I have said and prayed all I know. Yes I would tell about your awesomeness perhaps the people I would tell will please you better than I ever can, but as for me I am tired”. I cried to sleep and the rest of the day was a blur.
The next morning, I went through my mails and saw “invitation for interview”. Tito! I jumped out of my bed, completely stunned and I felt goose bumps all over. The Organisation invited me o! Hmmm…I thanked GOD in advance! I even sent Nathaniel Bassey my testimony in advance. I did all this even in the midst of fear but I chose to hold on to my tiny faith left.
Interview day came, woah! See over qualified people. Out of the 1000s of applications only 5 of us were selected to this stage. I shook in my shoes but put up a courageous front. The interviews were in 3 stages. There was a stage where all applicants had to face each other, which was a brutal stage but oh well.
During the one on ones I felt so nervous and stammered sef. Hmmm, I got home (I think I went to Church first and thanked GOD for victory) and when everyone asked how it went, I just told them it went well.
As days rolled by I experienced great attacks on my faith. All the answers I should have given the interviewers swam through my head. I wondered and wondered. Well I later left it at GOD’S feet and when the fear pangs come I would just hold on to a scripture.
On December 1, 2017, I was away from home concluding the consultancy job and people were wishing me“happy new month” but I felt nothing. What’s new? Lol. GOD was yet to answer (or rather manifest HIS answers because he always answers). I even cried and didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Then my phone rang… Tito (tears are even gathering now) I GOT THE JOB!!!!! I ran to my colleague’s room shaking. As she opened her door I collapsed in her hands and wept like a child. Serious wails! I have never experienced such a feeling and it came from within. My whole body shook and I felt so cold.
GOD gave me a custom made, factory fitted Miracle! GOD! At a place I always wanted with a position I wanted as well. THE EXACT POSITION!
I have been in awe. Now, looking back I see it wasn’t so much about the job. It was about the fact that I felt GOD had left me and I just needed a lifeline to prove that HE was working on my petitions.
HE gave me the luxury of a year of rest and development, built me up (replacing layers of me that were worn out lol. Painful. Like gold passing through fire. I cannot describe how difficult and sweet the year was) and then right on time HE handed me a dream.
I am not in a relationship yet. I am 31, but you see GOD who gave me this Miracle job o, is about to present me to my factory fitted husband. Every disappointment I experienced is worth the victory I see at the front. Yes I feel the pangs of yearning for a spouse I am yet to see or know where he will come from.
However, I am a child of a GOD who goes ahead of me.