I recently got great news that one of my friends is pregnant with her second baby. My joy knew no bounds; you would have thought I was the one carrying the child. I was soooo excited that I made my super cool friend uncomfortable. lol. Of course every pregnancy and every child is a blessing but this one was even more special because it was completely unexpected. Her first child was not even a year old before she got pregnant with the second. What many people didn’t know was that her first pregnancy was a battle and her baby was a miracle baby. How else can you explain it when my friend bled throughout the entire pregnancy and had giant fibroids so her baby’s head was wedged between those fibroids and she couldn’t move? But guess what? Our miracle baby SOMEHOW came out PERFECT. The odds of my friend even getting pregnant the first time were slim and when she called her doctor to say she was pregnant again, the doctor told her it was impossible. But what is impossible with man is OVER POSSIBLE with God and now my friend is in her 3rd trimester with her second baby. LOOK AT JESUS.

I asked my friend how she manages to stay positive during these pregnancies considering the odds against her and she told me: “I just stay positive, only have positive conversations, I don’t condone negativity”. It got me thinking about the word of God and how we are told: “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (Phil 4:8 nkjv)

It is a choice. The same way we MEDITATE on all the negative situations we face and we go over it again and again, is the same way we can CHOOSE to meditate on the positive and things that are praise worthy.

A lot of women call me and email me AND send me social media messages about their frustrations and how they have been trying to have children unsuccessfully and I always give the same advice: Change your focus, change your thinking. Instead of focusing on how miserable you are and how unfair it is and how God isn’t answering your prayers, choose to be positive instead.  I remember after having a miscarriage, my doctor told me I was not allowed to cry because that is what satan wanted. He instructed me to LAUGH instead and choose to be happy and I did just that: I had a full on praise party after I had spent a couple of days crying and wallowing. No one even KNEW I had a miscarriage and a month later I was pregnant again. One thing I have learnt is the power of our thinking. I believe my friend’s attitude played a huge role when she got pregnant again. She didn’t waste time worrying about the possibilities of having a second child, she just chose to be grateful for what she did have and God surprised her beyond her expectations.

My question for you today is this: “What is your mind focused on?”

I know it seems easier said than done but guess what? God won’t respond to a pity party but a praise party. Try this: When you see your period, instead of bursting into tears, burst into song and start praising God for your babies, for your husband, for your health, for a roof over your head, for great friends, for Christ who died for you. Turn a PITY PARTY INTO A PRAISE PARTY and see if God won’t surprise you. Don’t waste energy lingering on the disappointment, spend it on positivity. I know you really thought that job was THE job and you were over qualified for it but don’t waste energy questioning and questioning, use that time to think about how amazing you are and thank God for saving the perfect job for you.

The other day I was boiling water in a whistling kettle. I stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to whistle as indication that the water was hot enough. I waited. I waited. I waited. AND WAITED. NOTHING. It was like the water was taking 50 years to boil, so I decided I will do other things while I waited instead of just watching a kettle. Guess what happened? As soon as I picked up a broom to start sweeping, I heard the whistle.

It’s the same thing with us, when we take our eyes off our problems, no matter what they are and change our focus to something positive and praise worthy and change our thinking, We will begin to see those problems disappear and see the manifestation of our blessings.

Another key thing my friend told me was that she keeps her words positive. What are you saying during your times of frustration. Are you speaking as someone who is already defeated or a victor. Every time I am in a negative space and I am expressing it to my husband, he always cautions me to be careful what I say because to me it might be just me being honest but our words carry weight and the more we speak in negativity the harder it’ll be to see our blessings. My friend does NOT allow any negative news near her, she won’t hear it and she’ll let you know. So please instead of going on and on about how hard things are, focus on how great they also are and speak positively. As the bible says: “out of the abundance of your heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45)

Why don’t we try it this time and see what happens? Genuinely meditate on those things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, of good virtue and most importantly praise worthy. You are not allowed to complain about ANYTHING this week. Let us see what happens when we change our focus. By the way, it won’t be easy, distractions will come, you will have legitimate reasons to wallow in self pity and enter the negative, but through that, FIGHT TO REMAIN POSITIVE.

“You are not allowed to complain about ANYTHING this week”

“Friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse…Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” (Philippians 4:8 msg)