I am so happy to be sharing this testimony from my friend Naa. For me, this is beyond having a child and even though that’s awesome.I think for me, I continue to share these stories to show that God is God and he remains in control regardless of the situation. The issue of pregnancy and having children is one that man is practically useless in controlling. Even with all medical interventions, it is impossible to fully predict the outcome. Only God can really make everything perfect. So for me, these stories remain an analogy for the various problems we face in this world. I found this post by Naa so encouraging and I thank God that he remains in control of everything.
Great is thy faithfulness
Oh God my father
There is no shadow of turning with thee
Thou changest not
Thy compassions they fail not
As thou hast been
Thou forever will be
Summer and Winter
Springtime and harvest
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join in all nature in manifold witness
To thy great faithfulness
Mercy and love
Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me
There is a saying in my language which can be translated as, “Unless it is night time, do not cuss God”. To wit, do not say God has failed you when it is not over because in His time, He surely makes all things beautiful and this is the story of my life. A testimony of how Jehovah restores.
Like the song writer said, I, Naa have also tasted the faithfulness of God and I will shout to the whole world about the goodness of God.
Where do I even start this testimony from? Most of you read my story about finding purpose in the pain of losing my daughter in February 2015. Most of you read how I struggled with my faith, found myself questioning God and how I somehow found myself whilst praying to hold my own child in my hands. Three months ago, God made good His promise to my family as we welcomed our son to this world. He is everything we prayed for and more. He is definitely worth the wait.
Since July 2014, I have been pregnant more than I have not yet, for the longest time; I thought of myself as the woman who was always pregnant but never a mother. But Jehovah changed my name.
In July 2014; we decided to expand our family after six months of newlyweddom and in that same month, God answered our prayers. Imagine our joy when we found out that we were expecting a baby girl. We picked out names and got excited about finally becoming a family of three, but on 3rd February 2015, at 7 months pregnant, we lost our daughter.
I had never felt my faith challenged by any single happening than I was in the period after the loss. I woke up every day with tears in my eyes and the devil kept whispering to me that I was no good and that I will never be a mother. Whilst I was learning about faith and leaning closer to God, I had the constant fear of the what ifs. What if, the lies the devil was telling me were really true. At a point, I thought of divorcing my husband because the devil told me that if I freed him by divorcing him, he could go have his kids because there was no way I could become a mother. Despite the constant nagging and fear thrown my way by the devil, my husband and I drew closer to God in the midst of our challenges. We got lost in the beauty of His faithfulness such that eventually, it was not just about our pain anymore but the belief that God will not let the pain be our story because He will weave something beautiful out of it whether here on earth or someday in heaven. We knew it will make sense one day. Somehow, we found the beauty in our pain and this drew us closer as a couple.
Imagine our excitement when at the end of May 2015, we found out we were pregnant again. Wow Jehovah overdo had done it again for us. Scripture said affliction will not strike twice. Much as I wanted to believe that, the fear of the unknown kept gnawing at my heart. I was constantly afraid of losing that pregnancy too. I was always running to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding, I was constantly checking stuff on google then in July, my fears came true. I had another miscarriage. This time, I knew without a doubt that I miscarried because I was not leaning on faith, I had allowed fear to have room in my heart and since fear is from the devil, I had allowed the devil to have his way with me. Scripture says that He did not give us the spirit of fear but of a sound mind. I made a note that my next pregnancy will be different. But that is easier said than done. I decided not to worry about when I will be pregnant again or even actively try to conceive or even be sad and morose because God had proved to me with time that He always comes through. In fact, just a week after the loss, we decided to host a “just because party”. In our minds, we knew it was our way of telling the devil that he can do his worst but he can’t steal our joy.
Because we were not actively trying to conceive, I did not immediately notice when we took seed but in November 2015, just around our second wedding anniversary, everyone commented about how I had gained so much weight. One day, I looked into the mirror and realized that I was so bloated that I looked six months pregnant. I called my husband who had then travelled to complain about how fat I had become. He started cracking jokes about my weight and I jokingly said, “Is this how to talk to a pregnant woman?” My husband was silent for a minute, cut the line and called me back and he only said, “Yes you are and this is the one we are keeping!!!” What had I done? How could I tell him I wasn’t especially since I had not done any test? But since my husband was calling things that be not as though they were, I decided to go with the flow and ride on his faith. I randomly found an old pregnancy test lying around and I decided to test and lo and behold, I had the faintest positive. We were pregnant again. My faith at that point was not as big as my husbands who had gone ahead to already determine the sex of the baby and even chosen some of his names. I kept saying, see this man oo, has he not learnt that a positive pregnancy test does not necessarily translate into a baby?
I called my doctor who requested for an early scan so we can book our appointments. We decided not to go to our regular scan place but to try another place. Biggest mistake ever. We walked into this scan place and I immediately knew we did not have to be there but it was too late. The scan technologist was old and very unfriendly. He just placed the wand on my abdomen, asked me for my last menstrual period, looked at the screen and said “your pregnancy is measuring smaller than it should be so go home and expect to miscarry”. At this point, I did not even have the energy to cry. I just nodded numbly and went home. Be careful what you allow people to say over your life because as if to confirm what he said, by the evening of the next day, I had started bleeding. I started weeping and told the hubby that it was happening again. He only looked at me and said “Naa, go take a bath and sleep cos this is the one we are keeping”. Wow, I did not even have the energy to complain and like a child, I did as I was told.
I bled on and off for a couple of days and so we decided to go back to our old place to get a scan done as our doctor’s appointment was getting closer. At this stage, I was still bleeding, the scan showed that the pregnancy was actually measuring ahead and they could not tell where I was bleeding from as it wasn’t from my uterus.
At thirteen weeks, I got a preventive cerclage (a stitch put on your cervix to prevent premature opening of the cervix) done. I told myself this was all I needed to carry my pregnancy to term but God had plans to show me that it is foolishness to lean on the arms of man.
Everything was going well till twenty weeks when my cerclage stitch just randomly fell off. At this point, I was filled with fear again. The doctor had told me that if the stitches fell off, there is nothing they could do to stop labor. I called my doctor freaking out who told me to come to the hospital immediately. Thank God for my Christian family because at that instance whilst I was preparing to go to the hospital, expecting the worst news, Tito sent me a whatsapp message. I immediately told her what had happened and she told me to let go of my fear and hold on to faith. At that instance, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that, Noah was kept safe in the flood because God shut the door not because he was just obedient. My prayer at the moment became, God keep my cervix shut. The house officer who examined me told my doctor, I was already 1.5cm dilated. I was placed on total bed rest and rushed into theatre the following day so my doctor could try stitch me up again. When he opened me up, my cervix was shut to the glory of God. I was stitched up and told to go live my life but take things slowly.
A few weeks after that, my bestfriend invited me to a prayer meeting which I declined using the pregnancy excuse. That afternoon, whilst taking a nap, I had a dream that I was in a hospital and they were trying to find my baby’s heartbeat but couldn’t. I woke up and told her that I will go to the prayer meeting with her. The man of God kept staring at me whilst preaching and it was time for ministration, he called me and asked the whole church to pray with me “because the devil wants to attack this pregnancy like he did my first”. I was exactly 27 weeks plus a few days pregnant then and this was my first time ever stepping foot in that prayer meeting. I knew without a doubt that the devil had lost once again.
The rest of my pregnancy was blissfully uneventful till the day I checked into hospital to have my cerclage removed. The nurse who checked on my baby took forever to find his heartbeat and the familiar feeling of fear crept back. Imagine how relieved I was when she finally did and at ten minutes to ten that night, this little man made his arrival to this world. I wept tears of joy on the theatre table when I first heard him cry. For us, time stood still for us to savor the moment we became parents.
But the devil refused to give up even though he had obviously lost. The morning after my cesarean section, a matron came to have my catheter removed, I started bleeding out uncontrollably. Next thing I knew, she was screaming for assistance, saying something about a blood clot but God came through once again as the bleeding stopped as suddenly as it started
I will not wish this journey of pain and waiting on anyone else but looking back, there is not a thing I will change about this journey because even though they meant it for evil, God has definitely turned it for my good. I went through the deep waters not to be drowned but to be cleansed. My faith was challenged and built, I had a great desire to build a relationship with God and most importantly, heaven has never been more important to me than it has been through this journey because I know that in order to see my babies again, I have to make it there.
During the period of my entire pregnancy, I knew God had His mighty hands on our baby as He kept directing our steps. He told us to stay hidden which was not the easiest thing to do and brought certain people our way who have been a major blessing to us.
Through this journey, I have learnt that my purpose is greater than any pain and that God fights for the weak, for He is a God of justice. I learnt that, everything yields to God including that which makes you happiest and that which breaks you down and when you are going through a battle season, not only will God use the battle to build you but He will also use that battle to discredit every lie the devil has told you. And with Christ in your vessel, you shall always smile at the storm.