This is actually the email in which Hadassah shared her testimony about how God has been restoring her marriage. I am so happy that a marriage that was on the verge of breaking is being restored and I just marvel at how God can turn any situation around. However, one thing that has stood out for me even more is how God has been healing her heart. So many people are heart broken and hurt and we kind of forget that God heals all wounds, physical and emotional. Our emotional baggage can hold us back so often that we are unable to appreciate the various ways God has blessed us or the people he has put in our lives.
I hope as you read this, you open up your heart to God’s love and you begin to share with him the deep emotional pain that you need to let go of. God can’t fix your situation if you are not willing to let him perform surgery on your heart too. I am so happy for Hadassah and I pray for you my darling that God continues to keep you “calm and anger free”. I also pray for anyone reading this who needs God to come in and heal their hearts, that as you open up to God and allow yourself to be vulnerable with him, you will find your healing. Please leave your comments, share your thoughts and share with friends too.
From Hadassah on 17th of March 2016
Heyyyy!!!!! How are you??? I just realized I have not given you my testimony or shared with you some of my worries but I found myself on your blog and got this urge to talk to you and hey I have a few mins to myself at work so this seems like the best time to pen my thoughts down.
So I went for the Sorting out program and it was the greatest thing at the best time that has happened to me. I am just re-reading my last email to you and laughing at myself like what the hell was wrong with me? looollll….so I went for the program with an open mind believing God for his hand basically. I am not the Spirit type but I just went all the same that ah this God, everyone seems to be experiencing you, I want to experience Him too.
So on Wednesday I was chatting with my brother’s wife and she goes: “oh, I heard about that program you were telling me about on the radio that are you still going abi? it is this weekend” and I’m like huh “no o it is next week” and she goes; “I coulda sworn I heard this weekend” so I said “wait o let me just check sef.” and I saw she was right. I just said: “Jesus!!! because I had used the last money in my account to pay for accommodation and thought “ah let me ask if i can get a refund”, because like i told you before my husband and I hadn’t even been talking for like almost 4 weeks by then. So I called my mum and asked her opinion she said: “ah Hadassah, you cant go o, because at the end of the day, that is still your husband and if you guys are not on speaking terms how are you going to tell him you are going for a weekend retreat in a hotel that you want to cause wahala for yourself abi or you want them to call family meeting that you went to spend the weekend with another man?”
In fact, after my mum spoke, I just told her: “see I am going. This is for my life and salvation and it is personal.” My mum and I argued about it and I told her I was still going to go. So I called my brother and he said I should send a message to my husband with the details and evidence of payment and hear what he has to say. In fact that was harder than I thought, because at that point I was like I would rather not go, than talk to this man but I did it anyways and he responded that I should do what I want, that why am I asking him? that abi I’m the head of my own household and I’ve been doing what I feel like so whats his business? I just responded “thank you”. loool… This was on Wednesday
Thursday morning, he sent me a message talking about primary schools for our 1st daughter and I just responded casually like it was just a need to talk conversation. When it was done I put my phone aside and continued working, only for me to receive a snap chat message from him. I started thinking: “what is it again now?”, so I opened the message and he had sent a picture of the both of us from about 2 years ago and he wrote “I miss you” on it and to be honest I wasn’t even moved by his gesture. I think it was due to years of hurt, so I responded: “OK, I mean what’s not to miss?” and we kept going back and forth and at the end I’m like “mehn free me, I am unmoved by your words so just leave me alone.”
On Friday morning (The day of sorting out), the plan was to go to work and then go to the program after because I hadn’t taken any time off work and it was too late to tell my boss. So I just told them at Sorting out that I was going to be coming in late after work. As is my normal routine, I leave my house at 4am to get to work and sleep in the car till 8am. So at 4am I was driving to work in VI and found myself going past the first roundabout, to the 2nd, the 3rd and then I saw chevron. To be honest I only had enough money for tollgate on me, so I had even told myself that I will take the alternative route from work to get to the venue but I got to the tollgate, paid, and eventually found myself at the venue. I was soooo early so no one was there, so I took my normal position in my car and slept off. My friend called me that they were about to start the program so I asked her when do we check in, because I needed to freshen up and gather myself first. And she replied: “soon, don’t worry. My response to her was: “wo, I’m tired o”.
Anyway, when they started, the first testimony was the reason I knew God wanted me to be there from the beginning. It was an older lady that spoke about finances and how she had been married for 7 years and separated from her husband for 6 years and how she was present at the last sorting out and how Pastor Joe had told her to call him and bring him to the next sorting out and she said she called him and he immediately said he would come. It was as if God was telling me it is never too late for him to fix things. I just held on to that testimony and used it to pray that: “God remove all this anger and hurt from my life, make me a happy person again. Let me love this man the way you love me just help me.” I don’t usually fast but I fasted throughout this program.
My husband kept calling and messaging me about how he missed me and couldn’t wait for me to be home. And I was thinking: “huh? God, what is this? I’m not used to this kind of regard o!” loool. But God even taught me how to begin to accept it. One of the issues I had in my marriage was the fact that we have been married for over 4 years and we still live with my in laws so there is a lot annoyance and frustration going home from work everyday, topped with a marriage that wasn’t working. So that was part of my prayer requests when I went to the program because I could see that part of the resistance wasn’t just financial but an issue of comfort as well as fear of the unknown. To be honest, there seemed to always be something holding him back from taking that step to leave his parents’ home, so on the last day which is the day of the one on one session, I spoke about it with Pastor Moses and he saw the spiritual side of it and prayed for the yoke and tie to be broken.
I went home and babe if I tell you, that less than a week later, which was Valentines Day; I got a key to our own house as my gift. Like from nowhere and he kept saying once we move he wants no ties with his fathers’ house, that he didn’t even want us to keep our suitcases there. It’s so crazy how God works because he didn’t let me be the “bad guy”. Because I know if we had moved out of pressure from me, if anything goes wrong he will blame me. Like I have just been sooooo calm and anger free that even when my husband starts with his issues I just look at him quietly. I don’t respond, I don’t fight back, I don’t even argue. I just say to myself: “my God is bigger that this issue.”
There are soooo many testimonies ehnnn, but as I’m typing, my colleagues are looking at me and wondering why I am typing so animatedly. looooolllllll…..I just want to say a huge thank you to you for always being there because I always have it at the back of my mind that oh I can always talk to Bolatito and even when I gave my testimony at sorting out I told them you were the first person to tell me about it but I never followed up on it. My struggle now is just with my prayer and devotional life. I spend my mornings in the car reading my bible and listening to worship songs but I feel like I should be doing more. I feel like I want to hear from God one on one, I want to build that friendship and relationship with him. do u get? but anyways that it for now.lol….
I know this march might have been hard for you but i know God has something special waiting. Just keep being you and shining your light for the world to see. You are truly special and amazing,
p.s sorry for any typos I can’t even go back to proof read.lmaoooooooo