Hi Guys, as I have often said the point of this site is for us who have been hurt in anyway to find support in a community. This is why I am sharing Nikki’s story. Regardless of what life throws at you (an unexpected divorce or the loss of a child), we have to remember that God remains God and he can truly turn a mess into a message. I hope Nikki’s story will encourage someone that all is not lost no matter how bad it is. 

I am Nikki 30 year old soon to be 31-year-old divorced mother of beautiful 6yr old soon to be 7year old twins. Our culture defies divorce as it should and so do I. The truth is that Divorce is a terrible and painful thing to go through and its even worse when you are NIGERIAN. I used to wonder in the midst of my pain, tears and sorrow “why me?” I consider myself to be quite a nice person, extremely loving and caring to a fault.  So why should I get divorced after everything I have been through?  Of course the talk and the judgement began coupled with the disappointment in my moms eyes because all her friends were talking about us. But I said to myself; “two happy homes are better than one unhappy home”.

Year 1: I started with NOTHING while my ex husband had a great paying job and the full support of his family. I was scared to death of losing custody of my kids. I could not provide the way he could at that time which led me to agreeing to a lot of terms people would say were unfair because in my eyes my kids are PRICELESS. After all, I am not handicapped so I knew I will be ALRIGHT. I went back to school, got a paralegal degree and retook two classes that I needed in order to earn my BA degree which I had lazily abandoned because I got “married”

Year 2: I went from job to job with no satisfaction or prospect. My ex got remarried and suddenly he was providing the “dream” of a family to my kids with a woman he barley knew. I asked God how can the man who did not want to save this marriage or carry through with his vow get all I ever wanted? The nice house, nice cars, a nuclear family and be happy? Yet I have nothing? But GOD!

I lost a job that I thought would take me to the top of the company. I was devasted. The redundancy led me into a slight depression where I interacted with only my kids. I had to work two jobs and cried a lot during this period. My kids were the only ones that gave me a reason live at a time when everything in me was ready to give up! So after much encouragement from my best friends and family I felt God telling me to not give up but to trust him! I worked during the day as a property manager and overnight at Wal-Mart stocking shelves to save some money for nursing school. With God and my mom’s assistance I got accepted into nursing school and I had the finances to start. It cost 15 brutal months of losing friends, time with my kids and life in general but…. GOD! It was worth it!

Year 3: I Finished Nursing school and Passed my boards. Within 1 week of passing my boards
and two one and a half hour trips to Newark Board of Nursing, I received my license sooner than expected. BUT… GOD.  People asked in wonder how on earth I got my license so fast and I just give all glory to GOD.

Two weeks after I got my license I landed three jobs! All with the schedule I wanted to allow me to spend time with my kids. We also got a brand new house built from the ground up.

I am HAPPY!  Although I may not be where I want to be, as I still have big dreams but for the first time in years I am on the best track of my life…no culture no society no rules but MINE.

GOD has been turning my mess of a life to a message. He put key people in my life through these three long years. My family and best friends and friends who I did not expect to be there for me where. And although this a recap of a longer bittersweet story, the truth is I needed that divorce for God to propel me to where I am today. I used to ask God why? And 3 years later it starts to make sense. Now I let go and let GOD! I live my life unapologetically by doing what is true to my girls and I while always putting God first.

God is able and my bestest days are yet to come!

Nikki