We rarely think of fertility challenges as being a man’s issue and it always seems to be about the women but the truth is that this is a challenge for the men too especially when you feel completely helpless. Thank you Mr Y for sharing this with us.
When I got married almost 5 years ago, to this nerdy, pretty, loving and smart doctor, the last thing I worried about was having challenges having babies. Thankfully, I’m married to a consultant medical practitioner.. so if there was anything I worried about, it was having enough money to look after my family not having babies. Or so I thought.
So after 12months of being married without getting pregnant, my wife recommended that we see a fertility specialist to ascertain the reason since we were trying to get pregnant. Reluctantly I agreed.
After the medical evaluations, the results confirmed that our chances of having babies via normal conception was quite slim.
I swear this confirmation hit me like a bomb and got me asking myself these questions. Why me? Why us…
You watch it on TV and read about it on the blogs, but you never expect it would happen to you.
Anyway, we realised we had a challenge and no amount of sulking, worrying or crying would change anything. We had to pray and do the needful. So we braced up and went in for an IVF procedure.
We went in really upbeat and determined. We both placed our hopes on God’s words and promises.
IVF is hard work, from the collection procedure to the needles. The long emotionally tasking 2weeks post transfer wait… We prayed it would be worth it. But then, the news came and it failed…
It was hard accepting the news. It broke me watching my wife cry so much that day. She sat on the living room carpet crying her eyes out. She felt it was her fault. Probably something she didn’t do right? How could she not be able to achieve this? She’s a consultant, this is what she was trained to achieve! She helps people get pregnant and she has delivered dozens of babies doing her job.
I tried my best to comfort her and assured her that it was just a year and 6months into our marriage. The babies would come by God’s grace. It wasn’t easy though, I was already 36 and my wife was 31. Secretly I worried too. A lot actually.
It was a crazy period. I recall different pastors coming to visit and praying for us and the varying counsel from family and friends on how to remedy the situation. People who have experienced this challenge can easily relate to this phase
Not to forget the uncouth statements from some friends and colleagues. Statements like..”You Na no go born?? You guys ain’t growing young oh?”
The pressure set in and in another 2 years we had undergone 3 additional failed IVF procedures and millions of hard earned cash spent.
At this point and almost 4 years into married the doctors advised we discussed the option of surrogacy. Didn’t even know they did it in Nigeria…
Anyway at this point I had, had enough and needed to clear my head. So my wife and I went on separate vacations. Just to get closure and me-time. It helped just being away from everyone and everything that reminded us about the baby wahala.
On our return, we promised ourselves we would take a break from the procedure and just heal.
But then we received a call from one of our specialist who was relocating and appealed that we try just one more time.
It was such a confusing period. We had agreed to rest and just live for now. What’s this appeal again?? The weekend after the call, my wife appealed that we should try just for the last time. Reluctantly I agreed …
Mid year 2016, we went in for another procedure, indifferent in our approach which was due to the 4 failed earlier attempts.
One week into the egg transplant my wife started complaining of acute abdominal pain and was diagnosed of acute OHSS. Her tummy was swollen from fluid accumulation in her ovaries which had to be drained with a tube. During this period we totally forgot about the the pregnancy matter, I just prayed she got better.
A week after the OHSS treatment she went in for her routine pregnancy test despite the pain and medications. The news came out… We were having a baby.
Baby ke? How? After 4 procedures under the best conditions we didn’t get pregnant. How is this possible?? But yes, our God did it. With a 25% chance of getting pregnant. God showed up.
The excitement was great and equally overwhelming. We couldn’t wait.
3 months into the pregnancy my wife was diagnosed of a threatened miscarriage. But God stepped in.
Between 5-7months, she was hospitalised twice for severe pre-term contractions. And once again God showed up
5 months ago we welcomed our bundle of joy into this world. A bouncing baby boy with all my good genes and his mum’s intuition. I hope.
Watching him grow daily is pure delight. Growing into a healthy, happy and blessed child. Just did a quick glance at him sleeping on my chest as I type in this pretty long write-up..
In all, our God is faithful and true. We just have to believe and trust in Him to direct us. We need to be intuitive to know when to move once he says so …
During our period of wait, the stories on the Lighthouse site really helped build my faith. And so did the mails I exchanged with Tito. God bless you all. I pray my story encourages and blesses someone out there.